Settling Into Fourty One
This is me. Well, this is the fourty year old me that existed last year.
And now? Well, this is me. A few months after I did a crazy thing - I cut off all my hair.
I spent all of my 40th trip around the sun wanting to make this change but I was afraid. Not of cutting the hair, my hair grows like nobody’s business. I was afraid of being seen.
I would classify my 40th trip around the sun as a gap year. That feels about right.
My 30s were all about finding my voice and trying to hear what it wanted to say. But so much time was spent wrestling with the inconsistencies between what I wanted to be, what I thought I was supposed to be and who I really was. As I closed out the decade I felt like I was rounding a corner closing the gap on two of the three.
Last year I feel like I pressed the pause button. More time closing my eyes so I could hear clearly and then embrace what I want more of and discard what no longer serves me. I’m ready to change my story. The story I tell myself.
So, as a guide through my 41st year, my one little word for 2019 is …
I’ve spent January sitting with my word and I have so many hopes for manifesting this guiding word. One of those ways is to put on paper the stories I tell myself. It’s time to acknowledge the tapes in my head and either embrace the truth or call bullshit on myself.
Story changer #1 : Your hair is not something to hide behind. I loved my long hair. My friends loved my long hair. So many sweet compliments and I started to believe it was my only and best physical trait. And I was afraid to let it go. No more being afraid. No more selling myself short. No more hiding.