Thursday, September 24th // 7:03 AM
Me // Today might be the day I sell the kids to the circus.
Husband // They won't take them.
Thursday, September 24th // 7:35 AM
Owen // Mama do you see the sky? Do you have your cam.er.a? You should always have your cam.er.a.
Thursday, September 24th // 7:40 AM
Me // Do you guys want to walk down to the track to see if we can catch the sun?
Owen & Travis // OH YES!!
I was over the whining. I was over the fits. I was over them not doing what I needed them to do to get us all out the door on time. I was ready to sell them to the circus, for real.
That is what you don't see. That is what is not captured. But it doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Life is not always chasing the sun and every time a well meaning friend comments on how l always look at the "bright side" I want to shout NO, that is not right. I yell. I lose my patience. I say things I apologize for seconds later. I make them cry. They make me cry. I struggle. I try to do better everyday.
What you see is my therapy. What is you see is my way of taking a breath. Some run. Some meditate. Some practice yoga. I feel the light. I make photographs. I look for the beauty in the sky. I look for the silver lining. I happen to do this in a very public way. You see the after. But I promise there is definitely a before.
Somedays it works. Somedays it doesn't. Every time it's just me doing the work of trying to be better everyday. It's my therapy on the days I'm ready to sell the kids to the circus. And on the other days it's just me practicing seeing the light for the days I need it most.